He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
