It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
