I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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