Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
