We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Everclear isn't food dammit
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
