Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize