He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
