hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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