There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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