Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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