I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
