Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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