Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
