i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
