I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
