He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
