marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me