i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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