her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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