Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
