my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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