With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
