If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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