I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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