Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
