remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
