Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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