i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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