Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize