There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
