dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
