She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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