Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
