He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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