1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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