im six kinds of drunk right now
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
