We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
