You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize