Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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