I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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