4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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