Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
