Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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