I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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