you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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