I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
