Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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