I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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