Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
