he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize