You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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