he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
