Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
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