Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
