She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize