Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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