I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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