sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
