Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
