i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
